Lights! Camera! Ac…Wait! I’m Scared.
OK, scared is a bit OTT. Nervous as fuck would be more accurate. After my last post (the very next day, funnily enough) I had a call from the hospital to advise me that my colonoscopy appointment would be Tuesday 9th June. Awesome news. Kinda. At least it’s progress and I will be a step closer in finding out what’s wrong and, in turn, have some for of treatment plan. Depending on what it is and what the treatment entails, I may resort to my private healthcare (tried to avoid it thus far as it may be an unnecessary expense and money is kinda tight).
I went back to the doctor last Friday (5th June) to see if I could have different painkillers as I wasn’t sure if the pain is getting worse or if I’m just adapting to the meds but until I have a diagnosis they can’t really review that. A bit gutting but at least my appointment with the hospital wasn’t (and isn’t even more so now) far off. I posted a status on Facebook last night about my impending doom and a friend told me he had it too. I had taken to Google and it mentioned having to “prep” before attending. I haven’t been told to do anything apart from show upand my friend told me the “prep” is extremely unpleasant.
After a bit more Googling I found that sometimes they do an enema so I’m guessing that’s what I will go through. The word enema always reminds me of Anthony Hopkins as John Harvey Kellogg in ‘The Road to Wellville‘. When it comes to stuff like this I am usually quite a private person. As much as I will go on about sex, cumming in your face, tying your tits up and spanking you and watching your boobs bounce while I do a merry jig; I;m not one for talking about my toilet habits. Having to describe my ailments to the various doctors and going to the places I never dared, I have had to shed my shame and just embrace the fact that my modesty has all but left me.
Tomorrow is going to drag like a club foot. I hate appointments in the afternoon – you always feel like you’re just hanging around as you can’t really do much. Today, I decided to go out shopping before we had to pick Talia up and during that time, about ten minutes after we had left, DHL had been with my eagerly awaited shipment that has been delayed over a week due to the strike in Germany. They have never arrived before 2pm before. Usually it’s around 14:30. Today, they decided to attempt delivery at 10:40. Fucking typical. For some reason they didn’t leave it with a neighbour like they usually do and so I have had to reschedule tomorrow. And I bet they don’t attempt it so early then, it’s just Sod’s law.
So tomorrow, a teeny tiny GoPro is gonna meander up my asshole like a snake on a mission. And a flashlight strapped to its head. I might ask them if I can have the footage on .mp4 to make a fucked up video montage.
Anyhoo, wish me luck See you on the other (back) side!