Random Musing – In The Beginning – Ooga Booga Nights
I can’t remember (ha, no shit) if I’ve mentioned this in a blog post before but I know I’ve spoken about it. I’m not a religious person – I used to believe but then I saw how prayers go unanswered and things don’t change. Well, not for the best anyway. There are those that believe in Adam & Eve and I am not one of them. How we came to be remains an enigma, similar to the chicken and the egg but it never ceases to amaze me that we could have been blinked out of existence almost as fast as we came to be.
Like many people, I have wanted to time travel. Not to change the past and ultimately change the future but to find shit out. I would love to be able to go back and observe the first man and woman and see how long it took them to figure out that the penis goes in the vagina. I mean, it’s not like a baby with a round peg and a round hole–the problem solving is a lot more advanced. If he had decided to shove it up the wrong ‘un and never bothered with the other hole, their existence would have been full of pleasure (provided she enjoyed it) albeit short lived.
How many places had he stuck it before and also, how did he come to the realisation he should stick it anywhere? Imagine the confusion on the neanderthal when he was greeted to his first case of ‘morning glory’ and the recurrent boners throughout the day.
While there are people out there trying, and in a lot of cases succeeding, to advance technology and medicine I’m over here wondering what prompted folk to bone and to do it right. I’ll be honest, cocks and vaginas are not the nicest things to look at and I find it amusing whenever I watch ‘Alien‘ or even think about the facehugger clinging to the next host because it’s basically face-sitting–the underside of those beasts look awfully like vaginas.
Anyhoo, another notion that dawned on me was just how many times was the ‘experiment’ started over? If we are some experiment observed from afar by this grand being or advanced beings from another planet, what version number did they get to when the first subjects were to successfully breed? In an advanced game of ‘The Sims‘, did they watch neanderthal after neanderthal fail to get it right and restart the game until both were ready for some whoopy and match the organs accordingly?
I look around and, while I often take things for granted, I look in awe at some of the things mankind has achieved. I also hang my head in shame for some of the diabolical things we have done over the centuries. No feat will ever take away the amazement of the first pair of humans getting laid. Poor bastards, though–they would have had no one to babysit while they went out for a nice meal at the local fruit bush.